Here we go again. New story! Yay! Anyway, Long story short, since this managed to over-take dollmancer right after i had announced the winner of the last “post next” poll, i decided that it’d be this one, now, onto the Disclaimer then summary.
DISCLAIMER. GENDER BENDER, MAN TO WOMAN PLAYED FOR THE LOLZ. DISCLAIMER 2: THIS STORY IS EVEN OLDER THAN RETURN, EXPECT NEWBIE MISTAKES! DISCLAIMER 3: I’M IN THE PROCESS OF CHANGING MC NAME FOR A REASON THAT’S WAY TOO SILLY TO BE EXPLAINED. IF YOU SEE INCONSISTENCIES, PLEASE DO TELL. (name might also be temporary… i’m not good at this whole naming thing)
Genres: Comedy(both slapstick and nonsense kind), Fantasy, Gender Bender, Ecchi, adventure.
Summary: Lionel was just another guy who had a normal life with his father and pet. Until he was then summoned to go to another world by a group of incompetent gods. Becoming infuriated by the cliché situation, and losing control of his temper before the retard squad, things take a turn for worse. Were that not already enough, she now ends up unilaterally forced into becoming a net idol of sorts for the literal sake of amusement of the gods while she have to deal with the quest that was bestowed upon her.
Author’s warning: This is an old story, and despite having a higher-than-average chapter count, the idol part still hadn’t been explored up to where I had written, so sorry about this. It’s still part of the story concept, and should it ever be continued, i’ll do my best to make it as ridiculous as possible. ^^
And without further ado, here’s the story:
Ever had the feeling that you just screwed yourself because you couldn’t keep your trap shut?
Well, I might just have done that to myself in a very, VERY bad way.
As I thought that, I looked at the men in front of me wearing long flowing kimonos and holding various talismans with their hands. Shyly raising my hand towards them and doing my best to not sound threatening.
“Hi-hi…?” I said in an uncharacteristic thin and feminine sounding voice.
Too feminine for my own taste.
Their reaction were exactly what I expected. They started shouting terrified at my sight, then towards each other in anger and fear. Finally, the one wearing a fancy looking onmyou hat shouted something, making all the other guys stop.
Luckily, I may be an idiot, but I’m not dumb. Noticing the atmosphere around them, I quickly gathered my belongings on the ground, held them against my body and jumped over the group, landing on the wooden floor right behind them.
Taking some time to process on what I just did, I quickly shook my head to recover myself and slammed open the sliding paper door. Turning back towards the magician looking guys who stood near the ornate altar I had been on previously, I felt like being a bit smug, so I gave them a smile and waved goodbye before they could use those hurty-looking talismans of theirs.
“It was nice meeting you!” I said cheerfully.
However, feeling something cold running down my spine, I barely managed to turn back to the doorway and see as an armored man brought down the long curved sword down near to the place I was.
Jumping to the side scared, I saw as the razor sharp blade barely managed to scratch the backpack I had brought with me. As the man looked confused for a moment, I quickly reacted by squeezing my way between him and the door. Just in time as the priests managed to finish their spells, and a huge dragon head made of wood sprouted from the ground. Staring at it in shock, I quickly jumped to the side while pushing the swordsman away.
Except that my jump took me much farther than what I had expected, and somehow I ended up almost twenty meters away from the place where the dragon landed.
As much as I was shocked at the destruction the magic caused, it seems like I was getting used to this feeling, because my recovery was almost instant this time.
Hearing as the magicians shouted something with a language I couldn’t understand, I knew that it was time for me to get out of there, so turning back to the massive wall towering five meters above me, I wondered whether I would be able to jump over something so tall.
Well, those guys did say that I would get a really strong body with this whole ordeal, and my last jump was pretty ridiculous itself.
Steeling my resolve, I took some impulse before leaping highly towards the wall. Surprised with my own strength, I overshot by a fair amount, easily going another five meters above the wall.
What I saw was a magnificent view. A large city made of inumerous wooden houses and pagodas for as far as my own eyes could see. The buildings had colorful walls that gave the whole city a cheerful look. Nearby I could see a wide street were many peddlers had their carts set up. People walked around in robes while chatting happily with each other.
Far away, near the horizon I could see various mountains covered in luscious green forests and massive plains.
Looking down, I saw that I was in what looked like a castle near the middle of the city. From it spread four layers of wall that circled the city, the closer to the castle, the taller they were.
The castle itself was very eye-catching. Having angled rooftops it was made of many floors, each one being slightly thinner than the previous one, while the lowermost was massive, with many addons facilities to it. One being a beautiful wooden building that was probably a shrine of sorts seeing how it was the only one that had clearly cosmetic features to it. It was also the place where I bursted out from.
My marveling time ended once I felt my feet landing on the roof at the top of the defensive wall.
Deciding that I could bother about admiring the scenery later, I started looking around in search of a way out.
Luckily, it seemed that I was out of reach of the swordsman, as he only looked up to me in anger. The priests that came out of the shrine also looked too tired to cast another spell, with the exception of the one in fancy hat.
I let out a brief sigh of relief, but sadly it still wasn’t enough for my luck.
Taking a brief glance towards the castle, I saw that on the balcony of the uppermost floors, a single person watched me with an intense glare. Looking up to her, I saw that it was a beautiful girl with a dark red hair flowing behind her back.
Wearing a beautiful vivid red silk kimono tied with a golden sash. She leaned dangerously on the railing, much to the dismay of the man behind her who kept shouting something.
The moment our eyes crossed, her smile suddenly became savage.
While holding something she took from the railing besides her…
Just to leave it clear, I want to explain a few things. First, the wall I was on is five meters tall, and it stood around twenty meters away from the castle. A bit further if you consider the position she was in the balcony.
Also, the balcony was on the third highest floor. Which means that she was pretty damn high. I’d say at least forty meters from the ground.
And she jumped from there and landed neatly only two meters in front of me.
Pointing the katana she held in her hands towards me, she shouted something in her weird language. Although I didn’t understand what the hell she said, I did get the meaning behind it.
She was probably challenging me to a duel.
For a moment she stared at me awaiting for my reaction, so I smiled towards her, making her get visibly excited as she took as stance with her sword. A dangerous looking yellow aura gathering around its edge.
I also took on a stance, as if preparing myself, and awaiting for the moment the girl blinked, I took action.
So I turned back and ran away, leaving the red-haired girl confused in place as I ran over the rooftops of the nearby barracks and walls.
There’s just no way I can fight against someone who accomplished such a jump without even breaking a sweat.
And ignoring the fact that I was almost sure I could do something similar, that girl had the look of someone used to fighting while I’m just a normal guy.
A sudden goosebumps ran down my spine as I felt some kind of instinctive reaction to danger. Stopping myself just as I was about to jump on the next barrack, I saw as a red meteor came crashing down on it.
Well, not exactly a meteor, but a very angry red girl, which was probably just as destructive, if not more, than a meteor.
Seeing that I had a chance before she recovered from the impact that destroyed the building, I quickly leaped over her and kept going on my way. Not taking long before I had the feeling of being hunted down by the girl.
With the pace we were going, we quickly reached the living area of the city, and with that she stopped destroying the buildings, but once or twice her sword did scratch me. Or more specifically, the bundle of fur that followed me from behind.
I could even see the occasional soldier that would try to stop me, but since they were all on the street down below and we were running at a ridiculous speed, there wasn’t much that they could do to stop us.
Receiving fearful looks from the pedestrian on the street and feeling a bit hurt due to that, I quickly reached the border of the large city without having the leisure to have a brief sightseeing trip.
Well, that was a bad idea.
Looking back at the angry girl and seeing as she smiled wildly, it was a lucky reaction that I manages to avoid the massive shockwave that her sword created once she swung it.
Seeing as trees and grass were mowed down alike with no stop to the attack, I fell down to the ground in despair, seeing as the things I planned on using as cover were completely destroyed after a single attack.
While I let out a little cry of fear, the girl quickly started to make her way towards me once again. I didn’t lose much time before darting away again, always taking a glance back to see whether she was preparing to attack me or not. However, a brief moment before I reached the corner of the forest, a certain sound broke the tension of the situation we were in.
*Turururururu! Tururururu! Turururururu!*
“STOOOP!” I shouted suddenly while screeching to a halt and making a stop sign with my free arm. The girl, surprised by my reaction almost reached me while she tried digging her feet on the ground to reduce her speed.
She looked at me in confusion as I confirmed that she wasn’t going to try and take my head off for the moment, before quickly searching for the source of the oddly familiar sound.
At first my hand went towards my hip, where I usually left the object that I was searching for. But all my hand met was the unfamiliar white cloth of the skirt I had. Cursing loudly in my mind as I understood that it was my own fault, I stopped to hear the sound once again. Finding it to be inside my backpack, I quickly crouched on the ground, put my bag on the ground and rummaged through it until I found a certain square that had colorful lights coming from one of its side.
Staring at it blankly for a moment, I sighed deeply at the absurd scene before me and took the cellphone to my ear as I pressed the answer call button.
“…It’s you guys, isn’t it?” I asked annoyed.
“Oooh! It got through!” I heard a cheer coming from the other side as the voice said that. “Oh… Erm… Sorry. We weren’t sure if we would get this first try.”
“… Aren’t you guys supposed to be almighty and all that?” I asked with a sigh.
“Look, interdimensional links like this aren’t easy, you know?” The man on the other side said with a serious tone. “Besides, we did say that we would get it working. We just didn’t know whether it would be first try or not.”
“Haah…” I sighed loudly, feeling annoyed at my own voice. “I REALLY, REALLY want to go and start shouting at you guys for getting me into this, but I guess that it was me who brought it upon myself, wasn’t it?”
“Ooh! I didn’t expect our cute little Aszusi to be so understanding!” A female voice said cheerfully from the other side of the telephone.
“Oh! So this is the loudspeaker!” The guy who said previously sounded satisfied. “Oh well, anyway. What do you think? Did we do a good job? Things are fairly entertaining up here!”
“This popcorn thing of your world is really good too!” A shout came from afar.
“Yeah… As much as I hate to say it, you guys did do a good job making this a bit more unique…” I said while looking around, then down to myself. “BUT I SERIOUSLY REGRET DOING IT WHEN IT WAS MY TURN!”
I shouted at the cell phone while letting out all the frustration of my retarded decision on the apparel. It wouldn’t surprise me if the guys on the other side of the phone had fallen back in shock. Even the girl took a step back in shock as she saw my anger.
Well, you would also be angry at yourself if you somehow convinced the gods to reincarnate you as someone of the opposing sex.
And if that wasn’t enough, I went ahead and did something even more idiotic.
What a pain…
(AN: Hope you guys enjoyed it. it’s quite an old one and i Kinda fear it’s not very original >.>)
(AN2: Will start working on Re:Turn chapter now, since i doubt Dollmancer can pull a comeback anytime soon. After that it’s IO.)
(AN3: I might make a surprise post mid-week for chapter 2, since i feel that chapter 1 doesn’t really do much at all. We’ll see.)