Project MMG – Chapter 11

“Oh gods… You aren’t going to start it again, are yah?” Pris asked with a fatigued tone as she watched the yellow magical girl’s eyes sparkle dangerously. “You are…”

 

“My, oh my. How could I have been so blind. It all makes sense now!” Sparkle yellow said as she started twirling into the air. “All our battles up to now had mostly been one-sided even though our enemies were always big monsters. Then, suddenly, a human-looking girl in dark clothes similar to ours appear and become a real challenge, even to the point of defeating us as she looks down and say: You aren’t worthy of being magical girls!”

“…Yellow…” Kathy tried calling out to the daydreaming magical girl, but her words fell upon deaf ears.

 

“And then, and then, you’d proceed to defeat us time and time again as you teach us how to be better magical girls, until eventually and unequivocally, you’ll be betrayed by your boss lack of interest in you, or you’ll learn that friendship and love are the true strength behind a magical girl!”

 

“Oi, Yellow… You should stop. She ain’t looking too happy…” Blue chimed in as anxiousness appeared in her voice.

 

“Then, we’d team up as you would start teaching us as friends and partners, where it would lead to the reveal of your tragic backstory as for why you became a dark magical girl despite being a girl who’s really gentle and kind at heart originally! And then, you’ll become our alleeek?” Suddenly being brought back to reality as her eyes stopped staring into whatever fantastical scene she was seeing in her mind and landing upon the Leviathan who had firmly grasped her head into a vice grip..

 

While her appearance hadn’t changed much compared to a few seconds earlier, the deep soulless eyes surely served to completely change the feeling that the girl gave off as she stared deep into Ellie’s eyes.

 

“What… Did you just call me?” She asked in a low and emotionless tone that sent chills down the three girls’ spines.


“Ermm… S-Sparkle b-black?” Ellie said while feeling a slight headache from the grip.

 

“Noo… Try again.” Shelly said with a smile that didn’t quite reach her ears.

 

“D-Dark magical g-girl?”

 

“Yeah… That’s wrong.” Shelly said. “I’m not a magical girl.”

 

“B-B-But…”

 

“Not. A. Magical. Girl.” Shelly insisted.

 

“But… Cute girl, frilly clothes, magi-OUCH! IT HURTS! IT HURTS!” Ellie started screaming in pain as she tried to squirm her way out of Shellie’s hand.

 

“I said. NOT. A. MAGICAL. GIRL. Even less a dark magical girl!” Shelly repeated.

 

“H-HE-E-ELP?” Ellie asked for help as her eyes started spinning and she started wondering whether her head was starting to split itself open.

 

“Well, you kind of deserved that to be honest.” Pris said with a conflicted tone.

 

“She said she wasn’t happy with her clothes.” Kathy nodded in agreement.

 

For a brief moment, Shelly wondered if it wasn’t wiser for them to attack her while she had apparently lowered her guard due to getting pissed off, but from the looks of it she didn’t have to worry about that.

 

“Okay. I’ll make this clear one last time. I am NOT a magical girl.” She said with a bone-chilling tone. “I am a full time employee to a slightly dubious but very welcoming company. Understood?” Her tone didn’t allow for ‘no’ as an answer, and any sane person would understand that pursuing the matter any further was not a wise decision.

 

Sadly, Ellie was too blinded by her imagery of a dark magical girl appearing to understand that, and thus completely failed to catch the obviousest of the hints.

 

“Noooo! THE POWER OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP WILL-UGH!”

 

“I’ll probably kill myself in the future for this, but right now, that felt really satisfying.” Shelly said with a dangerous smile as she recoiled her fist from the place where Ellie’s head had been just a few seconds ago.

 

The head in question was now being held by the girl’s own to hands as she crouched in pain at the sudden attack that, despite being sudden, was powerful enough to make her see stars for a good few seconds.

 

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YA’ARE DOING TO YELLOW?” Pris suddenly jumped in as she decided that the payback for the girl might have gone a bit too far.

 

However, contrary to her looks, Shelly wasn’t completely unaware of her surroundings and quickly avoided the flying hammer with a backstep.

 

“Look here, ‘Sparkle Blue’.” Shelly said with a slightly pissed tone. “Right now i’m not in the best state of mind and I know this. I don’t know my current limits and this makes it REALLY difficult to hold back on my punches, so i’d really like if you didn’t pick a fight with… Aaaand it’s falling on deaf ears, isn’t it?” She suddenly trailed off as she noticed the blue girl was already pulling out the weapon from the ground in an attempt for the second attack.


“…Bad!” Sparkle Green said as she noticed the leviathan’s reaction and quickly notched an arrow. However, her reaction was quickly caught  on by Shelly, who stopped her fist that was aiming at Sparkle blue’s stomach an inch away from impacting the shocked girl’s body to dodge the arrow.

 

“…Ugh… I almost landed that one.” Shelly complained as she looked at her fist after watching the arrow split the air in front of her and explode into a mess of thorns somewhere far away. She glanced back towards Kathy, who froze once she noticed the gaze of the demoness upon her.

 

The other two girls took that as a chance to regroup. And by regroup, they meant jumping closer towards Sparkle green and away from Shelly. With Ellie still holding her head in pain and Pris suddenly being a lot more cautious after almost being hit by an attack she couldn’t even see coming.

 

“Oi oi oi… I couldn’t even react…” Pris said as she tightened the grip in her hammer, a nervous smile plastered across her face.

 

“Why so mean, Sparkl-” Ellie started, but was quickly silenced by Green before the damage could be done.

 

“…Don’t want her angrier.” Kathy said, apprehensive. “If she got mad… If she got mad… got mad…”

 

“Oi, Green! Not the time to have your mind in the gutter!” Blue shouted once she noticed a small stream of blood escaping her friend’s nose.

 

“Sorry.” Kathy said as she cleaned her nose and turned back towards Shelly with a serious expression. “Leather would be nice too.” She said with the most serious of the looks she could give.

 

“…I really want to say I have no idea what you are talking about…” Shelly said with a sigh before shaking her head. “Anyway, one more time. All I want to do is continue doing my job. If you let me do my thing and go back to fighting the actual big dragon in the sky, I promise I won’t bother you.” The leviathan said, however, she didn’t await for a reply as the look from the girls was the answer she wanted. “On the other hand, while this will leave me with a bad taste once the adrenaline wears off, i’ll have to deal with you someway or another.” After all, as much as she was against hitting young girls she knew personally, when her life was in danger, she didn’t really have much room to reconsider her choices.

 

Thankfully, she had seen first hand how resilient these girls were, so she felt a little bit less guilty about what she would have to do.

 

Only a little.

 

“H-heh. After that last exchange, that almost sounds like a good idea to me.” Pris said while her knuckles turned white over the mallet’s handle.

 

“…Tempting indeed.” Kathy agreed.

 

“Don’t be like that!” Ellie said after finally managing to remove Green’s hand from her mouth. “Don’t you see that it’s our destiny to fight together? I know that you must have your circumstances for having to do this dirty work!” The three other girls almost fell face first at Yellow’s insistence with the whole matter. “Just join us, and we can show you that-”

 

“You do reckon this is real life, not anime, right?” Shelly interrupted her bluntly, getting the girl by surprise as she just stared blankly at her. “And, as ridiculous as it can sound coming from me, it’s not like life is all magic and fantasy as you see on TV, you know?”

 

“That’s… But…”

 

“Look. Last call, you go back to your job, and I don’t get to hurt you.” Shelly iterated one last time as her expression changed into one of seriousness and she took a basic fighting stance.

 

The girls finally noticed that this was a no-negotiation moment, and quickly took their stances too. For a good two seconds neither side moved as they analyzed the opponent. And it was only when an explosion echoed from the skies where the fourth girl was trying to hold her own against the dragon that someone made the first move.

 

The trio quickly took their standard fighting formation. As Yellow and Green leapt back, both readying their weapons for an attack, Blue dashed forward towards Shelly with weapon in hand.

 

From the way they moved, this seemed to be roughly their usual strategy as they showed a bit more confidence than they had been attacking one at a time earlier.

 

However…

 

Shelly dashed forward in a direct collision course with Blue, who, despite a brief moment of surprise, quickly readied her weapon for impact. As the leviathan made a swerve to her right, she immediately swung her hammer to intercept.

 

Then, the monster girl suddenly passed by her left side.

 

It took her a brief moment to understand what was happening, and a bit longer for her to manage to lift a guard against any possible attack. Finally, it took her even longer to notice that no attack was coming her way.

 

While Pris lost precious time trying to understand what was happening, Kathy and Ellie made panicked expressions as they noticed the leviathan approaching them at a dangerous speed, her eyes set on the ranged duo.

 

Under normal circumstances the duo would still be faster with their flight speed, however, they weren’t expecting her to approach so fast, and much less to downright ignore their vanguard as she did. This lead them to be unable to accelerate at their optimal rate before the Leviathan found herself standing right besides them.

 

“Wha-…” Ellie said surprised as she noticed that the dark magical girl was already standing besides her, with her fist driving straight into Yellow’s stomach. While the attack wasn’t strong enough to send her flying, it easily cut her breath short and disrupted her flight magic.

 

“YELLOW!” Pris shouted worried.

 

“Kuh…” Kathy grunted worried as she tried nocking an arrow on her bow, but she never got the chance to finish, as she soon saw Sparkle Yellow’s body flying towards her

 

As the two girls tangled together, Shelly turned her attention to Blue, who had finally managed to approach her again while swearing at the top of her lungs. Once again, she easily dodged the simple and wide strikes from the magical girl before closing in on her and landing a blow similar to the one she had used to incapacitate Ellie.

 

Pris lost her breath for a moment, but quickly recovered herself by clenching her teeth and fixing her footing on the ground. As she looked defiantly towards her assailant, she noticed a look that more akin of worry than annoyance.

 

Then, she felt like a meteor had smashed on her side as the scenery started darting in front of her at frightening speed and her body smashed through walls like they were made of paper.

 

“Uughh…” Shelly made a groan as she watched the destruction she had done. Despite easily overpowering the three inexperienced fighters, she had no such a thing as a feeling of satisfaction, and instead, felt really bad about what she had just done.

 

It doesn’t matter that her life was in danger. It was still a fact that her opponents were just young girls. Girl’s that she knew first hand and, if she were to be honest, quite liked them.

 

Sighing in disappointment at herself, she turned back to where Yellow and Green were still laying on the floor, with Kathy just managing to pull her friend from atop of her. Giving a brief worried glance towards Yellow, whom was clearly still having trouble breathing, she finally landed her eyes on Green, whose usually cool expression had now a slight tinge of fear to it.

 

“…Can we agree that you can’t defeat me alone?” Shelly asked. Green didn’t answer as she verified her situation. “I’ll take that as a yes.” She continued as she let out a long breath. “I don’t know if… Blue… will be okay after that attack, so you might want to check on her first. Yellow here should be fine after some time catching her breath.”

 

“…Aren’t you gonna attack me?” Green asked worried.

 

“Wasn’t I saying from the beginning that was never my intention?” Shelly complained. “You guys attacked me first! I only wanted to do my job and be done with it! Anyway, i’ll get back to it, so you should help the other two…”

 

“Celestial fall!!” A sudden shout interrupted her.

 

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE! NOT AGAIN!” Shelly shouted angrily as she quickly jumped back and away from the massive magic circle forming under her feet.

 

The leviathan just barely managed to get away from the epicenter of the pillar made of sheer light that bombarded the place where she stood. However, due to the sheer area of the attack and the  suddenness from which it came from, the Leviathan didn’t manage to avoid the attack just in time and was caught in the after-blast.

 

She could feel her back impacting on wall after wall a few times over as pain started to settle in.

 

“And once again the power of love, friendship and light saves the day!” A girl’s voice echoed with such brightness that Shelly could swear she had heard a sparkle in it. Despite the fact that sparkles aren’t things that one should be able to see.

 

Lifting herself from the rubble. Shelly looked around while stretching herself a bit to find out if anything was out of place with her body, only to be pleasantly surprised by the fact that she hadn’t had any dislodged joints nor broken bones. Not that this made her pain any better, but at least it wouldn’t stop her from being able to protect herself.

 

For a moment, she thought about what she should have to do, but she quickly changed her mind as she thought about what had just happened and dashed off the building she had stopped in.

 

Just as another pillar of light exploded everything. This time she managed to avoid being caught in the collateral blast from the pillar, however, her relief was very short lived as she noticed a thundercloud forming above her.

 

“How could I be so silly! You only join us after we defeat you!” She heard Ellie saying something outrageous that made her want to face-palm hard.

 

She didn’t because she first had to avoid all the lightning that were starting to form on the clouds and seemed to roughly target the area where she was.

 

Only roughly.

 

However, as before, the sheer amount of lightning strikes was enough to get her into a dangerous spot. For a moment she thought about just running away from the barrage like the last time, but she quickly changed her mind once she heard the ever-approaching sound of Blue who was swearing at the top of her lungs.

 

“YOU’LL FRIKING PAY FOR THAT!”

 

As she heard the girl approaching, Shelly quickly turned back towards her and gave a brief sigh of relief at seeing the girl running straight towards her with hammer in hands. The fact that she was actually aiming for the melee range was a slight relief as she would have no trouble dealing with her if she kept coming at her like that. Even counting the now magically-encased hammer-head.

 

For a second she considered how to react to her current condition. While she could immobilize Blue fairly quickly seeing how she had already gone berserk, chances were that she would get caught in either the thunderstorm or in the new girl’s sheer firepower. On the other hand, Shelly had this feeling that if she aimed for escaping, Blue’s higher speed would have her catching up with ease.

 

Now, how they planned to avoid friendly-firing was something she had no way of knowing.

 

She leapt backwards as the hammer was brought down upon her, then quickly side stepped as the ice that encased the hammer quickly formed up into spikes that aimed to impale her at the same time as lightning struck upon the ground near her.

 

Feeling the heat from the ionized air, she quickly  moved away from the epicenter of the thunderstorm while fending off Blue’s attack. Deciding that she had to do something to move away from that stalemate, she quickly dashed in closer towards Blue, who, surprisingly enough, seemed to have learned something from their last bout.

 

She gave up on trying to follow up an attack with another and instead leapt back to avoid the counter from Shelly.

 

While she was slightly surprised at that, she still had, seemingly, a lot more experience in fighting than the girls.

 

She quickly grabbed the handle of the hammer that was still within her range and pulled strongly on it. Already understanding that Blue’s durability was on a league of its own, she didn’t hesitate to land a shoulder blow with her opposite arm, making Blue release her weapon.

 

She considered closing in for another attack, but quickly changed her mind as she noticed that the others wouldn’t just let her continue. She leapt back just as a fork of lightning and a pink beam split the ground right in front of Blue.

 

“Gh. So close to defeating her…” Yellow grimaced.

 

“The power of love shall not allow you to hurt my friend!” The new, Pink-themed girl said while striking a pose.

 

It took Shelly less than a glance to tell that, just like her other friends, this one was also a thoroughly lost cause. For start, let’s ignore what she had been spouting non-stop from the moment she first appeared and focus on her appearance.

 

For starters, she had stars in her eyes. Not the sparkly excited eyes kind, but literal star-marked irises made of a lighter hue than the outer pink layer. That was already a bad sign to start with, but to make things worse, she was even more of a magical girl than yellow. While Yellow at least had an elegant atmosphere to her when she was quiet, Pink was simply screaming magical girl. With an even shorter skirt than yellow, but spats underneath, her weapon was a short rod with a star pattern to it. Her clothes being somewhat reminiscent of a stylized school uniform and a large sized ribbon in her waist, she had her long hair tied in a pair of twintails.

 

And worse of all, Francine, the pink girl in question, was one hundred percent serious about her situation. Disturbingly so, if Shelly had any say in the matter.

 

“…Oh god… not another one.” Shelly said while face-palming.

 

“Minion of evil! Are you truly so foolish to believe that the power of love is only enough for three of us?” She said with an angry tone.

 

“…I don’t think that’s what she means.” Blue said with a conflicted expression while staring at her hammer in Shelly’s hand.

 

“Hmm? What do you mean, Blue?”

 

“I think she meant ‘Not another weirdo.’” Blue said while staring at the others. “Have any of you ever looked at yourselves in the mirror?”

 

““You have no right to say anything!”” Yellow and green shouted back at her. Pink was oddly enough completely oblivious to the meaning behind their words.

 

“Anyway, weren’t you supposed to be dealing with the big dragon dude up there? Or maybe dragon lady… not entirely sure about the gender to be honest.” Shelly made a conflicted expression.

 

“He was stunned by the power I receive from the support of my friends, so I took the chance to come here help them!” She said seriously.

 

Silence.

 

“…Then… You used your shining attack to blind him and came here?” Green said after a moment thinking her words through.

 

“Yes, I used the power of friendship and…”

 

“Ah, so she blinded him.” Blue nodded.

 

“That makes more sense.” Yellow agreed.

 

“I didn’t expect that there would be a more lost cause than yellow…” Shelly sighed while shaking her head.

 

“Hey!” Ellie complained.

 

While she was joining their conversation and regretting it, Shelly also took the chance to recover her breath and analyze her situation, before deciding that things had just taken a turn for worse.

 

While Blue was still on the ground just a few meters away from her and Green stood on top of a building to her right, both yellow and pink were flying far above the ground. While she was confident that she could easily reach either of them with a jump, that would leave her open to being sniped by Green while she was falling. With the two of them blocking her escape route, she was also stuck in place just a few hundred meters away from her target building.

 

Deciding that she’d need some help to manage to escape without causing injuries to either herself or the girls, she quickly looked towards the sky, where the dragon was shaking its head furiously to shake off the blindness.

 

“Actually…” An idea quickly formed in her head as she noticed its position.

 

“Now!” Blue took what she thought to be a moment of distraction to reach out for her hammer.

 

However, Shelly wasn’t as big a beginner as to take away all her focus from the situation, nor was the idea of shouting before going for a surprise attack a good idea. The fact that the Leviathan so casually let go of the over-sized weapon to reach for an attack didn’t exactly help with her planning either.

 

Before Blue had the chance to react, Shelly had her hand around wrapped around Pris’s neck, who found herself spinning around the leviathan as she gathered momentum for a throw.

 

With their friend and their target being so close together and neither expecting Blue’s attempt for a surprise attack, Yellow and Pink were left actionless as they didn’t exactly have confidence in managing to attack only the Leviathan.

 

Once again, Yellow found blue flying in a direct collision course towards her without her having the time to react. While the girls were distracted, the leviathan wasted no time in breaking through the wall of the building to her right.

 

“Hah! I got you now!” Pink said as she pointed her wand towards the building, only for her eyes to notice Green still looking confused on the building’s roof, having missed Shelly’s get-away as she had been following Blue’s throw. “Green! Get out of there!” Pink shouted towards her friend.

 

“…What?” Green said surprised.

 

“The monster is in the building!” Pink shouted.

 

It took a few moments for Kathy to register the words, but by the time she did, it was already too late, as the rooftop’s access door exploded behind her. Dodging the wooden splinters from the door, she tried to take flight before the leviathan got to her, however, she soon found herself in a headlock as she was caught from behind.

 

“Green!” Pink shouted in worry as she reached out towards her friend, but she quickly had to stop as she noticed the bikini-wearing monster winding up something. She quickly dived once she noticed the black projectile flying straight upwards towards her. “How dare you use my friend for such dirty trick!” Fran shouted angrily after she noticed the leviathan clicking her tongue at the missed attack.

 

“Green!” Yellow shouted as she managed to untangle herself from blue.

 

“You alright?” Blue also asked.

 

“No. This is dangerous!” Green said with an extremely serious and worried tone as she raised her free hand towards the arm holding on to her. “They are bigger than they looked.” She said while cleaning the blood from her nose.

 

 

Silence befell the whole scene.

 

Then, a sound.

 

“…Ouch.” Green said teary eyed, her hand now holding to her injured head instead where a bump was forming.

 

“…You deserved that one.” Pink said awkwardly.

 

“Don’t you have any shame?” Pris asked with a sigh.

 

“Green…” Even Yellow was wordless.

 

Meanwhile, the leviathan in question had her face turn redder than ever before. The fact that she couldn’t just let go of Kathy making the situation for her even more embarrassing.

 

“…Huhh… What’s going on here?” A new yet completely familiar voice for all of the presents echoed full of doubt and confusion.

 

As Shelly’s expression darkened severely at the obvious situation that she was hoping wouldn’t happen, the three other girls (Green was already back in her dreamland) had their expression brighten up.

 

“TOOK YA LONG ENOUGH, RED!” Pris shouted furiously.

 

“Yes! Now with everyone here…” Yellow said with her eyes shining brightly.

 

“Sparkle red! Now with you here I can fully show the power of…” Pink was off into her chuuni dreams.

 

Okay, maybe except for blue, everyone else wasn’t exactly thinking on the situation.

 

“Sorry… Teacher was really mean today…” The newcomer said as Shelly turned back to her.

 

“…ha ha… hahaha… I’m not even surprised anymore.” The leviathan said amidst hoarse, exhausted laughter.

 

Standing there was yet another girl. As one would guess, her outfit consisting mostly of the color red, with long red hair tied in a ponytail and ruby red eyes. On her body was, surprise surprise, a skirt that reached up to her knees. However, different from the others, her chest was covered by what looked like a basic, yet intricate piece of light armor. With a pair of greaves and a pair of gauntlets, as well as a muffler that seemed to wave around despite the sheer lack of wind, the first thing that came to Shelly’s mind was a hero from animes that she had watched. Something even more obvious by the sword hanging on her waist and the cape that fell behind her.

 

“Weren’t you guys supposed to be fighting a dragon?” Sparkle Red, or rather, Michael’s younger sister, Shauna, asked confused.

 

 

(AN: First off, Sparkle Green is officially my favorite Magical girl from the team. It’s just so fun to write her.)

(AN2: Oh yeah. SURPRISE MMG UPLOAD! HOORAY!)

(AN3:Oh yeah. SURPRISE MMG CLIFFHANGER AGAIN! HOORAY!)

(AN4:…. Author not found. He already ran away from the torches and pitchforks.)

(Fency’s corner: I’m back. That’s all. Bye. (an: he’s the editor))

Chapter 12

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19 comments

      1. You dare run? I haven’t even started on Insania yet! Which I re-read in it’s entirety a few days ago! (Seriously is that coming back eventually or)

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Yaaayyyyyy… uuuuppppdddaaaaatttteeeeee…. 😀 ❤

    Thank you for the chapter 😀

    …great, hopefully Shauna is more levelheaded to be talked with… 😕

    Like

    1. Suspected typos:

      Deciding that she had to do something to move away from that stalemate, he quickly dashed in closer towards Blue, who, surprisingly enough, seemed to have learned something from their last bout.
      => or: she? => …that stalemate, she quickly dashed…

      The leviathan said amidst hoarse,exhausted laughter.
      => missing blank after comma => …said amidst hoarse, exhausted laughter.

      Like

      1. *noms cookies*

        Thank you 🙂

        *denies suspicous accusations of having put the typos into the story just to get cookies* nope, it was not me… 😉

        *whispers @warhawx* do not tell the author – but I like those cookies… 😀

        Like

  2. And lo! The actual threat has arrived!

    Let’s hope Shelly learns that she doesn’t really need to bother holding back since, you know, they’re astral projections? Unless special magic is used “killing them” will most likely just disincorporate them, leaving their body (wherever it might actually be) unconscious and likely with a massive headache upon revival. That and one of these days these girls are going to actually kill someone or something isn’t done…

    Now to find and smack around whatever “spirit animal” gave these airheads their powers. In all likelyhood they’re in competition with the group Shelly is working for.

    Now that I think on it though… Once the boss and other people find out about her “promotion” to Sparkle Black they will all but force her down that path. Let the other employees do the errands and let the magical girls concentrate their addled brains on the one they want to recruit. XD

    Liked by 2 people

  3. That’s a great chapter you got there, it’d be a shame if something happ—–

    Well that joke wasn’t as funny as I’d hoped it would be. Thanks for the chapter (and the last chapter of ReTurn that I forgot to comment on).

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yay MMG, my favourite is sparkle pink the ultimate MG.
    And I don’t think that red will be more sane than the others.

    And I need my cookie

    “large sized ribbon in her waist”

    It should be on her waist

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hoorayy~ Another chapter~ … Darn, I could really go for something to eat right now *hint hint*

    When Ellie got her head squished for calling Shelly a magical girl.
    (“Okay. I’ll leave this clear one last time.)
    It should be: I’ll “make” this clear one last time. Using “leave” doesn’t make sense. Unless she were, for example, clearing some clutter from a hallway.

    When Pris jumped in to help yellow.
    (…Shelly complained as she looked at her first after watching…)
    There was a typo, change: at her “fist” after.

    A bit after the correction above.
    (…the blue girl was already pulled out the weapon…)
    It can either be: the blue girl was already “pulling” out. For present tense. {Or} the blue girl “had” already pulled out. For past tense.

    At the start of the first coordinated attack by the 3 magical girls on MC.
    (…showed a bit more confidence than when they had…)
    You said: than when. Than is used to indicate comparison, and Then Indicates time or consequence. Using Than and When together is bad for reasons. So it should be either: more confidence than “they” had. Comparing their group’s previous attempt and the current one. {Or} more confidence “then” when. Using a past experience as an example.

    When Shelly hit Pris through a bunch of walls like a BOSS.
    (It was still a fact that her opponent were just young girls.)
    Change to: that her “opponents” were. You forgot the plural for having more than one opponent.

    I could do some more but it’s late…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. WHOOOO!!!! Finally an update! I’m so excited! Okay! Now, where is the next chapter? *checks for new chapter* wait. No new chapter?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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